Francesco woke the next morning in a worse mood than he’d gone to bed in. He’d heard about that positive thinking shit and while he made an attempt, his mind couldn’t stay off what happened. The entire day had gone downhill yesterday the moment lunchtime arrived and the arrival of stock that showed up was both not what he asked for and impossible to return. Another thing he lost money on. Add in the tournament drama and he was at his wits end by the time he arrived at the game.

And she’d been there.

Just seeing Levi was a reminder of Kelli’s meddling in his life and it pissed him off further. He didn’t feel bad at the time snapping at her, hoping it would put her off and then Kelli could sit in her chair without that triumphant look on her face. Only it hadn’t gone away. Instead, she seemed more pleased when Levi would get irritated and snap back at him. He wasn’t sure what that Kelli was about, and it just left him even more grumpy. It didn’t help Levi had a delightful smell about her he couldn’t put his finger on. He’d tried to ignore it, but at the same time he wanted to lean in and figure out what it was. Maybe some kind of body lotion thing but it wasn’t an aroma he knew. Most women did that gross and exaggerated flower smell. Maybe she did her own at home? He hated it because the mental war trying to be disgruntled while not sniffing at her like some animal left him glowering all night.

Then there was Sarah and her bullshit. It was one thing when she refused to talk in their online gaming group and another with people she knew and hung out with in person. And sure, Levi did have a point about female harassment online–he’d seen it plenty of times–but Sarah wasn’t in a group of strangers or unknown variables. Forcing the group to cater to her silly requirement of not speaking in voice felt like her trying to control them and he was done with all and any of that shit. Bad enough he had to deal with that with his distributors at work. He didn’t want to deal with it in his free time as well.

And it hadn’t been over. Oh no. The moment he got home there were five messages from Sarah and more all coming in at rapid fire.

Sarah: You don’t have to be a dick because you’re having a bad day.

Sarah: You need to apologize to me.

Sarah: Guys like you are why I don’t date men anymore.

Sarah: Why aren’t you responding to me?

He’d put his bag down and debated just leaving it, but his thumbs tapped away at his phone.

Franny: I meant what I said.

Sarah: I don’t like being punished just because I refuse to speak in voice.

Franny: And I don’t like being guilted non-stop for not paying attention to you every fucking second. Deal.

He’d put his phone in airplane mode then, not letting the conversation go on further and crawled into his bed. There would be a million more message because Sarah’s way of winning an argument was to wear her adversary down. That’s how his online raid group lost two officers so far. She only was allowed to stay because she had that cute voice thing, she ‘exclusively’ let folks hear.

Sleep wasn’t very restful and when it danced along the edge of his mind it kept trying to puzzle out Levi’s lotion smell. Frankincense with lemon? No, it felt more like something he’d smell at Christmas. Maybe clove something?

Rolling out of bed, he quickly showered and got dressed. While waiting for his toast to finish, he flipped the phone back on. Sarah icon with 104 unread messages went ignore. Above her was the leader of the raid group.

Thumbing on the icon, he read:

Raidsavage69: My DMs got blown up at 2am. Did you have to ignore her?

Franny: She shouldn’t be whining at you about it. Dogpiling others on me will just make me angry.

Raidsavage69: Not going to argue. I said I would speak to you and this is how far I will. I try to be nice to her. She’s never been the same since that guy she was into ghosted her.

Franny: That was two years ago, and they only dated online for six months.

Franny only remembered the guy because he had also been a fan of Lee McGee and they both exchanged a talk about the evolving art style. Only that guy had been a little off to Francesco. Where he adored the art, Sarah’s ghoster had been obsessed with the artist in a way that rubbed Francesco the wrong way. And then he disappeared. No word, no nothing. He assumed Sarah had chased him off like she did all her other online flings, with stupid shit.

Shaking his head, he finished eating his food and then went to work. It was one of those cloudy days he loved to read on and planned to once his morning tasks were finished.

His shitty mood returned when his phone started to beep non-stop with Sarah’s unending apologies about not willing to speak in voice and offering to leave the campaign, which got the response he wished she didn’t from Rick and Kelli about how not speaking was fine. It wasn’t fine. It was stupid and catering to that shit was going make him boogie out of the game fast. Levi hadn’t commented so far. Would she? He wondered if she’d do the same as the others so far and encourage Sarah’s needy behavior.

Thinking about Levi made him remember the way her eyes sparked when she glared. It was better than those sad eyes he’d seen in the photo. He didn’t want to admit he kind of liked it when Levi had snapped at him. If she’d looked empty in that photo Kelli had sent to him, she looked downright dead inside when she opened the door last night. Like someone had carved out something of her soul and left her husk wandering around like one of those animated zombies. And thinner. There was a slight hollowness to her cheeks not present in the photo. It made his fingers itch to cook her a proper meal and make her eat it. Even the crap-Chinese she ate was more like a bird picking at food. She didn’t even finish the small container of mostly breaded chicken and rice. There was a good place to go. Maybe next time he would recommend it. Or just bring it and educate her on how proper Chinese food should be.

Looking up from the orders he didn’t know what to do with, he trudged to the counter and watched the Saturday group rolling and moving their military troops across the table. He liked watching them work together even while they were competing against one another. That was the kind of game session he really wanted to be part of.

He would have to apologize. To Levi, not Sarah because fuck Sarah.

It was something he knew would happen and it ate at him. If he did wrong, he admitted it, but fuck people telling him to be sorry because they felt entitled to an apology. It started in elementary school with a teacher that tried to make him say sorry for defending himself against a bully and then being suspended for three days for not doing it. His family had been irate, and his Nana had stormed that principal’s office with the hell only an Italian woman on the warpath could do.

But he didn’t apologize, and he never did after that. Fuck that shit.

A ding on his computer and he looked to see a notice on the server. Seemed Levi had decided to chime in. He opened the channel and read.

While I don’t agree with Franny’s delivery, you are well aware of how hard it is to multi-task like we were last night. Please extend patience with us and don’t accuse us of ignoring you when we don’t respond right away. You do not need to leave, but this is how you decided to play with us. There are limitations to your choices.

Francesco blinked and read the message again. It wasn’t fully taking his side but also softly talking about the barrier to entry that Sarah had made for herself. Okay, so Levi got a few points in her corner. But that wasn’t going to make him like her. Nope.

He felt the urge to message her with a thanks, but stopped himself. He wasn’t really sure how to talk to her after last night. He’d been rude and how would it seem if he thanked her for taking his side in an argument? How did that work? No, it didn’t.

Another “ping” sounded as Levi’s icon showed in the corner. His traitorous fingers clicked it.

Levi: You’re an asshole, but you are my friend’s asshole. I don’t want to have repeats of yesterday. How do we move forward?

He worried his bottom lip for a moment and thought. With a whoosh of breath, he typed, reread what he wrote, and then hit enter.

Franny: I snapped at you, and I didn’t need to. You don’t need to worry about repeats of last night. I’ll keep my asshole factor down within tolerable levels.

To the point without saying he was sorry and admitting he was wrong. It was the best his pride could do at that moment.

Her response was quick. Okay.

He kept watching to see if she had more to add, a lecture, something about how he made her feel, but seconds went on without anything. Well, that seemed to be it.

At least she wouldn’t get any ideas in her head about the two hooking up. Some blessing out of a shitty day.

“The guy is an asshole,” Levi told the screen.

Her therapist curled his hand to his mouth for a moment. “The session went that well? You seemed to be looking forward to it when we last spoke.”

“Mm.” She rubbed her face as she thought over the question. “I guess I didn’t expect someone to show up and be that grouchy all night. Was kind of hoping we could all gather and be nerdy and take it easy. I just about wanted to put a trashcan next to him so he could sit in it and call him Oscar.”

For the first time in two years, she saw her therapist’s face twist as he struggled to not laugh. After a moment, he cleared his throat. “Well, we know people come in a lot of flavors. But Kelli and Rick are friends with him, so how bad can he be?”

She let out another sigh. “Not bad, I guess. Rick and Kelli tend to have good taste for people. I was just surprised. He’s that guy Kelli wanted to hook me up with. Not sure what she was thinking with that suggestion.”

The brows rising on the screen didn’t escape her. “Hook up? Romantically, you mean?”

Crap. She hadn’t mentioned that the last time they talked. Another wave of guilt settled over her shoulders she couldn’t mentally shake. “Yeah. Kelli said I can’t wallow and need to move on with my life and thought he would be good for me. So far, I just think he’s an asshole.”

“Well, there isn’t anything wrong with moving on with your life if you feel you’re ready to.” He leaned to the side as he regarded her. “We never really have discussed you dating again.”

“I don’t really want to.” She shifted on her chair. “It feels wrong.”

His pen went back to his paper pad. “Tell me more about that ‘wrong’ feeling.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Like…disrespectful to Dale. We were really happy together and I feel like I would be smearing gunk on the memory by dating someone else. Do you know anyone else who just gets back on the saddle after their spouse dies?”

He lifted his gaze towards her. “Well, I don’t discuss my clients, but I do know someone who lost her husband in a car accident. Took her five years to be okay with seeing someone again.”

“But she did?”

“She did. Although I think it was with someone she knew for a while by the sounds of it. She wasn’t keen to take part in the dating scene.”

“Right. Dating feels so complicated from when I was in college. When Dale and I dated, it made more sense. We went out to coffee, talked, got to know each other, and so on. These days it just feels so…touchy, I guess. Like a high barrier to entry, you know?”

“I do know. It’s something I hear pretty often these days from clients and friends. Changing times and all that. Do you think you would date on your own?”

“No.” It was a quick answer, not something she had to think too much on. “I think I would be content to wallow away in my house and not associate with anyone.”

“I see. Tell me a little more about this man your friend thought was a good fit.”

She looked back at him with a raised brow. “Why?”

“Partly curious about him and your observation of him.”

She thought about it for a moment. “He’s a store owner. Looks like he goes to the gym by his build. Kelli said he worked out for cosplay, so that means he does a lot of work with foam and all that. He has a thing against cheese wantons. Anything he didn’t like was stupid to him. Waves his hands around when he talks, and he doesn’t speak softly.”

“Is he cute?”

“Oh God.” She leveled a look at him. “Really?”

“It’s a serious question. Do you think he’s cute?”

She pursed her lips together and thought back to the grouchy man who seemed to be stuck in permanent glower mode. The beard and long hair left him more like a primitive cave man, but the one picture of him with short hair and clean shaven hadn’t been bad. “He’s cute. But being cute doesn’t excuse being rude.”

“No, of course not. Are you two going to meet again?”

“Yeah. Probably at the next session on Friday. I messaged him asking to not repeat last session.”

“And his response?”

“He admitted he was rude and would be better. Who knows? Maybe by next session he’ll take out whatever cat crawled up his ass by then.”

Her therapist sputtered out a laugh and covered his mouth. “Sorry. That’s the first time I’ve heard you talk about someone that way. You tend to lean very neutral when it comes to personal opinions about people. Even the ones you don’t like.”

“Yeah, well, he pisses me off I guess.”

“I see. Well, keep me posted on that front. How are other things? No more attacks since we last spoke?”

Her mind went back to the night with the doodle. Mention it or not? She’d initiated that one and admitting it made her feel a little guilty. She shook her head. “No. But I haven’t really gone into the workshop either.” She paused. “Do you think I should?”

“Maybe a little exposure therapy, sure. But I do worry about you doing it on your own. That last one didn’t sound pleasant from what you shared.”

“I think having someone there to witness it would just make it…awkward. If I am going to be sick and embarrassing myself, I’d like it to at least be private.”

He nodded. “My commentary is to not push yourself too much if you decide you want to do it.” A timer went off on his side of the screen. “That’s it for us today. It sounds like you are doing well. I think this move was a good idea for you.”

Levi pursed her lips at that but didn’t push it. She still wasn’t even fully moved in. “Thanks. See you in two weeks.”

Ending the call, Levi leaned back in her chair and stared upward.

Was moving here a good idea? Maybe she should have mentioned how the town was so small there wasn’t a Starbucks, and the gym was run in what looked like a renovated house. And there wasn’t a martial arts school for her to join, leaving her to self-practice at home. Maybe she’d been in the city too long and was used to how close everything could be or easy to get to with public transport. Where did Francesco work out? She had a mind to ask him even if the result was “working out in a gym is stupid.”

“He’s such an asshole,” she muttered to the wall.

With an exhale, she leaned forward and clicked on his icon in the chat app. She could ask Rick but part of getting alongwas trying to engage, right? That’s what the human resource training had said in the last workplace community seminary anyway.

Levi: Hey, is there a good gym here?

A few moments later he responded with an address. Putting in the search engine, it came up with a picture of a building with “Golden Lion Gym” with a roaring lion painted on the glass. The ratings where good and the website showed a clean interior. It was in the next city a thirty-minute drive away, but a small price to pay.

Levi: Thank you.

Franny: Welcome. Tell Marc I sent you. I get a discount on membership for referrals.

Shaking her head, she powered off the laptop and left the office and sorted her boxes until she found her gym clothes. No time like the present and all that. And maybe, just maybe, she’d mention Francesco to the owner. Maybe.